So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
