Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
