we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
