its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
