i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
