He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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