she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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