my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
