That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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