Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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