I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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