Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I have aggressive nipples.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
