...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
