There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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