He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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