Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
