Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We're too hungover to prance.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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