Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
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Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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