It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
