I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize