brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
