hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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