I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
