Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
