Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I believe in your delicious
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize