So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
The air taste purple.
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