I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
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I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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