If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
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Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
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We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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