so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize