someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize