I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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