she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I could fuck to npr.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
