I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
