what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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