Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize