I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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