Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize