Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
