who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
