somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
