i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
