Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
