i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
