insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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