Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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