Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
