Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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