we made out on top of his cat.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
