our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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