Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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