I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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