I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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