somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Soap is not a condiment
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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