pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
