why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
