Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
