Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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