Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
