Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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