Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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