dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
