Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
