I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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