We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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