hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
