I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
