I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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