can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
