Your tits are I can't wait for
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize